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reach inside the dog like a puppet

from gwildmmalsk by retrogress

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lyrics

i can't keep eating
can't keep on feeding the same thing
that at night, i pray gets to die

just for the release it needs
just so i can forget everything
i can't keep feeding the demons in me

my mother always told me not to summon
anything I wasn't prepared to deal with
well, tell me, how do i handle this?
i wasn't prepared for this
i didn't think of consequences

to always thinking i knew better
that if i just weathered, eventually i'd get much better

life's supposed work
in at least some sort of way
that other people make sense of
that always escaped my sights

i feel like i'm falling
always spinning endlessly
my dreams are always haunting me
i can't succeed at anything

not even seeing me for me
not even traversing the paths that i've laid before me
cement cakes under my nail beds
remember when we were just kids
and i said that i'd get us out of this shit?

here i am, always failing
here i am, never grasping
anything in front of me
my god, you must be laughing me

everything in front of me
i paint into a travesty

i can't keep feeding me
i can't keep running around in everything
constantly wading through my own defeat
constantly waiting for the end to finally grasp me

let me find it, let me rip it out -
take its teeth
let me see its ugly face and tell it to get out of me

my mother always taught that
if you fucked up and it's there
you better get your shit together
put it back where it belongs, before you give it too long
to take over all of your heart

don't forget you already knew this all along
you just lack the confidence
to grab it by its jaws
rip them open, take its heart
eat it before it gets the chance to fall apart completely

don't forget you're always learning
don't forget you're always growing
don't forget no matter how dark it gets that you're still seeing

credits

from gwildmmalsk, released February 22, 2022

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retrogress British Columbia

/he|him\
ts'msyen

some kind of experimental half improvisational series of sounds

"i feel like i'm listening to gold dust exploding in space"
- critic review of the beginnings of my first album

"what kind of trip even is this"
- yet another critic review

"existential wailing, but bitch I bleed with you" - a 2022 review ... more

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